I have to quit making rash decisions1/2/2024 ![]() ![]() You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. The matter is difficult to put into words. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. They always pay proper attention to fear. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. ![]() Your anxiety becomes dread.įear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. ![]()
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